Columbus Announces Assault Weapon Plans

From The Open End:

The Columbus assault weapon ban has passed, and now citizens have until mid-November to register their guns. The city has now announced the proper way for law-abiding citizens to register their weapons. No word yet on whether criminals will abide by the same rule. The city recognizes the fact that many citizens do not know if they even own an assault weapon or what an assault weapon really is. I know that my guns haven’t killed anyone yet, so I figured I was in the clear.

Just to be on the safe side, let’s take a look at the new standards. Since “assault weapon” is a made-up phrase, it was the job of the city to create a definition for the new lingo. A clear and concise 827 word definition has been made available for inquiring minds concerned about whether their gun’s thumbhole is safe under the Second Amendment’s standards or really a lethal cop killing machine.

Now we know all laws aren’t perfect, but the city wants this law to be as close to perfection as possible. Since there are no real, objective standards for what should be legal and what shouldn’t, we must rely on what looks legal. Here, the city demonstrates that while certain things may have no real affect on the actual firing of the gun, laws must be put into place to make sure that anything that looks cool or could be conceived as cool will be off our streets.

So, anyone seeking to have their firearm confiscated in the not-so-distant future is “free” to do so by filling out this registration form.

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